cannon fodder

I fully realize that this blogspot is, more often than not, free of reference to skaters past and present, and I admit that it is somewhat intentional. While I personally love to read about others opinions of popular as well as underground skateboarders, I feel less inclined to make public my own opinions. I'd rather focus on my love of curbside shred dreams.

That being said.. I feel a burning desire (like the feeling you get when you eat a slice of pepperoni pizza) to mention the recent introduction into the pro ranks of one, Andrew Cannon. I remember seeing him on the cover of ... maybe the Skateboard Mag, or Skateboarder... he was holding his board by the trucks and looking into the camera while David Gravette was doing a footplant on the board's topside. Andrew's grip had an upside down cross paint markered on there. The image stuck out. And I was like," what's this dude's story?"

Turns out, he lived in Glen Mills PA, not far from my teen upgatherings in West Chester. He was also a Tempe, Arizona transplant which further intrigued me. What furtherer intrigued me and seems to be the largest topic of discussion surrounding his pudgy frame was his overweight build.

Honestly, I didn't think about it much. I was just into his style on the board, and the fact that he was am for World Industries (a World Industries so far and away from the original awesomeness of it's 90's being) and still got a lot of coverage.

He sports a beard and right off the bat I can relate to that. Now that I have a beer belly that isn't going anywhere yet slowly turning into a lunch meat belly.. I mean.. come on. I can relate to this guy on three levels. And after watching the following clip, I can relate to him in the fourth dimension, because I too love Luna Bars. I justify eating them by thinking of myself as a feminist's feminist.

http://skateboarding.transworld.net/1000118549/features/andrew-cannon-goes-pro-video-part/

Anyways, I knew he was in danger of falling into that perpetual man am title, but I was happy to find out yesterday that he is now pro. You don't know me Andrew, but congratulations. You deserve it.

POST SCRIPT: I switched the clip of his "day in the life" with his debut pro part. Made a little more sense since he's actually skating and not just going to work and eating pizza. Although that would be pretty great if your video part had more footage of you eating than skating. If you want to see him with the Luna bar, go here: http://www.casttv.com/video/yctajl/ergophobiatv-andrew-cannon-day-in-the-life-video

The 4th of July came and went and I was like, "I'm not gonna celebrate that shit." Then I went ahead and celebrated it with some hot dogs on the grill at Lemon Hill.

I got a photo of a two stair ollie in front of a statue of Fairmount Park's founder, Ponce De La Pants. I'm pretty sure he was the power behind my ability to kickflip twice in a row. At the base of his sculptured shroud. I mean. We were welcoming his entryway into the future via a stone cold vision of no litter.

I can't find a photo of the kickflip or the ollie. Or the B/S 180 one foot ollie.

All I got is this F/S smitty across a felled tree in the spooky swamp. I didn't land this by the way. How could I?

Frontside and Backside Ball Mash: A How To Recover

Mashed my balls on a handrail today. it was a flat rail, no stairs involved. Funny thing was, I wasn't smith grinding it or 50-50 ing it, or even boardsliding it. The trick started like this:

Sometimes I like to hang in the backyard with a beer. Sometimes I like to hang in the backyard with a beer after Mrs. Smitty has already gone to bed. The door to the back yard is in our bedroom. Rather than risk waking the Mrs. I often take the passageway to the rear yard through the front of the house. Since there is a locked gate some ten or so feet from the front door, I just hop the railing on the porch to access the rear yahard. Then I finish my beer and try not to freak out when I see a gnarly family of racoons.

When I reapproach the porch und railing to enter thru the front door I always mash my ballls. I just did it like fifteen minutes ago and only now am I recovering.

I hucked one leg over the rail then proceeded to "Chopper... Squish Balls". It's a difficult trick to remember but not an easy one to forget.

There is some pretty serious downtime and consequential radical rehabilitation that is necessary after executing such a maneuver.

1. I recommend putting together a new board. Put it together and force yourself to go skate, even if it's 96 degrees out with mega-high humidity.

2. Don't drink too many beers. It might seem like a great idea and ultimately, it is. But... Just don't start drinking before noon. Make that 3:00 PM. And have some food. Eat some food, man.

3. Skate the handrail instead of straddling it without one. If you're gonna scrape scrotum, you should be doing it on a skateboard.

4. Or maybe you should be doing it on the top of your couch whilst lisening to your fave dance tunes. That would be more soft and comfortable.

5. Don't trust anyone who doesn't ride a skateboard to give you advice on recovering from a skate related injury. First of all, they can't ollie. Second, they think a McTwist is a choco-vanilla soft serve cone from McDonald's. It actually might be called that. I hope it is.

Bottom line, they are going to think you're an idiot for hurting yourself slappy grinding a three inch high curb instead of getting a concussion playing two hand touch football.

6. Drink some beer and write some poems. If you're not into beer... drink a few Dr. Peppers and open up your soul. Open it up to anyone who gives a damn. Which is positively no one.

That's a positive though, bro.

&. Start riding a fixed gear track bike. (Knee rehabilitate) Great for the knees if you don't worry about trying to ride backwards and track stand and skid and be flashy. Just ride it from pointy A to point B at a slow and steady pace. I swear it's made my knees stronger. Not weaker. Stronger. You will look better riding the bike in tighter clothing.

8. Start eating better and just get over yourself. Next time you do the Ball Mash you can do it with some energy and a little color in your aura.

went to a party with the wife. had a great time. good conversation. drank a lot of beer. ate some pastry puffs with feta and caramalized onion? I paused being social for thirty seconds to lay down this track. switch crooks on plastic trucks to grass and gravel. Rode away clean, surprisingly enough.

TRANZENDENTAL

Duracell batteries. Life just got a little better/crazier bro. You don't need dreadlocks or an FBI snap back, yellow on blue baseball cap to listen to Boogie Down Productions. Chill Collins, "No Mac-10 Required".

Things are different now. Gone are the days of posing in front of untamed drywall with an uzi and sunglasses. But was it all a joke?

There's a lot of talk about West Vs. East and similarly, East Vs. West. I'm a man of many faces and physiques. I've been around the country...and I can honestly say that the East Coast has the best legs of any girl in the world. East wins over wezt, time and time again. I almost hate to feel competitive about it, but southern California is just so sun tanned and gay that I feel I have to put a stake in the ground of reality.

Skating in front of fruit vs skating on hundreds year old rust.

I'm gonna be demoing tomorrow. Just looking to get into some poses.. hunh. Not sure. Yoga skating? Nah, man. He-Man. AND THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE.

PEACE ON EARTH, ENVIRONMENTS, RELIGION AND PRAISE TO "YEAH MATT."

got re-obsessed with some late 90's to early 2000's east coast hardcore/horror hip hop. Whatever you wanna call it. Never heard that Camu Tao stuff. "Hold the Floor" So good. RIP.

got my new driver's license today. Photo center was mad hot. No ventilation.

The dude asked me if the photo was cool and I was totally, all.. "yeah." My face is fat and I look like a blury version of myself later that day. It's actually a pretty trippy photo. I think they did a great job.

Finger in the Dike, Stop the Leak

I know this is all supposed to be about skateboarding. Deep down inside i want nothing more than switch 180 ollies and slappies to reverts to be the top subjects up for discussion.

I never knew that the french with their awesome breads and cheeses, and the japanese with their technical abilities would shine through the black hole of skateboarding.

All I ever wanted to be was a dutch skateboarder with a penchant for backside 180 nollies followed up closely by fakie 360 shove its. Fakie 360 big spins. Dutch Mafia style.

Next thing I knew I was riding the warped asphalt of Philadelphia, basically surfing the streets, streetstyle.

50 50 grinds were all the rage in 1996.

I bought some Adidas tennis shoes in 1997 and they sucked.

I had a dream about some Addidas with baby blue stripes. They bummed my whole day out. I'm nearing the end of my baby blue phase. Whether or not we'll see a resurgence of olive drab and dark browns and blues, remains to be seen.

Fakie kickflip ala Scott Johnston/Mad Circle, Steeley Dan/Peg